CAREN HALVORSEN A.K.A. ARTGURL
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Artgurl Articles

What can I say? My Muse has a mind of her own.

The Masks We Wear ... While Social Distancing

4/15/2020

7 Comments

 
Picture
Until a month ago, did any of us imagine that a trip to the grocery store would become a Thrill Seeker’s Event? I didn’t. Until today…
 
In the Bel-Air parking lot, a woman––in full COVID armor (kitchen-gloved and face-masked)––stopped me…
 
Wait. That isn’t exactly how it happened.

I’d stopped first, when I saw her coming toward me on the narrow sidewalk. Thinking to offer her the “socially distanced” right-of-way, I stepped sideways into a planting bed­, so I was surprised when she stopped, too. 
 
“Where’s your mask?” she said. Her tone seemed strident. 
 
“Sorry. ” I shrugged  amidst the shrubbery. 
 
With anxious eyes she, stood her ground.
Waiting.
 

 
“I don’t have one,” I  said.
 
She fired back. “Why not?”
 
Where to begin?  That medical grade masks are in limited supply and desperately needed by our health-care professionals? Or those with underlying health conditions? That most lay-people are careless (or clueless) about wearing masks correctly? That masks are not a panacea nor are they meant to assuage the importance of appropriate social distancing,  like the kind I'm performing right now  by standing in a freaking  hedge? And, while we’re on the subject, why are you wearing a mask ? Is it to protect you from me or me from you?
 
What I said instead was, “Sorry.”
 
Her tone upshifted  from strident to desperate. 
 
“You need to be wearing a mask! Every time you go outside! My daughter is a doctor …” 
 

It was a cough-into-the-hand instead of elbow reaction, which I immediately regretted, when I said, “My husband is a doctor, too."
 
 
The  sidewalk separating us became a chasm. 
 
“How could he!” she said. “He … let you out of your house?  Like that?” Shocked, perhaps horrified––hard to fathom what was going on behind that mask of hers­­––she pushed her  cart past me,  living  the  acrid scent of hand sanitizer in her wake.
 
 
An acknowledgement: I suck at confrontation. Ever since childhood, when met with anger I find myself in The Place of Shame. It was in that Place––while slinking my cart alongside the aisles and avoiding eye contact––a voice nearby asked, “How’s your day going?” 
 
There was something in that voice, something friendly. So I looked up. 
 
A white-jacketed (and mask-wearing) Bel-Air employee was standing next to a non-masked female co-worker. Perhaps it was their juxtaposition that prompted me to answer candidly.
 
“I just got Mask-Shamed in the parking lot,” I said.
 
The man and his co-worker  laughed. “Yeah, we’ve been seeing a lot of that. Don’t let it bother you. You aren't required to wear a mask to shop here," he said. "Some people,” he added,  "It makes them feel righteous."
 
The co-worker offered up a compassionate smile. “They’re  afraid,”  she said. I could tell from the creases around the masked-man’s eyes that he was smiling, too.
 
"So,  tell us what  you've been doing to stay sane? Any projects you’re working on?  What are you watching on Netflix? Got your garden in?  Drinking more than usual these days?” The smile behind his mask became a grin.
 
Which made me grin.
 
And the Place of Shame fell away.
 
“So… How’s your day going, now?” he asked.

"Thanks to The Masked Man and his  Trusty Companion, absolutely terrific!" I replied.

7 Comments
Laura
4/15/2020 07:23:21 pm

Lots of current times struggles of judgement and shame mingled with curiosity and risk taking. Thank you for your storytelling, it brings levity and humanity to the collective experience. xo ~ L

Reply
Caren Halvorsen
4/16/2020 08:08:23 am

Thanks for your comments, Laura. Strange times!

Reply
Jan Haag
4/15/2020 08:08:35 pm

What a great piece! I suspect you (and I) are not the only ones who've been mask-shamed. Thanks for putting a name to this and telling the story... love the ending about the kind Bel Air employee. And is that your painting at the top of the piece, too? Both are wonderful!

Reply
Caren Halvorsen
4/16/2020 08:09:45 am

Thanks Jan! I just read your post about your Trader Joe's experience. I'm seeing a whole slew of writing prompts coming out of this experience. Stay well, friend.

Reply
Jenny Smith
4/15/2020 08:46:41 pm

This happened to me, too! It has been but a blink of an eye, and already some are now emboldened to be rude and bullying behind their righteous masks. These facial shields are really only to keep us non-health workers from touching our faces, not to keep from giving or getting the virus-that-shall-not-be-named. Please, people, expand your compassion as you shield yourself behind your mask. And don't touch your face, and wash your hands when you get home. Other than that, let see how many smile crinkles we can grow near our eyes as we endure this new way of being.

Reply
Fran Fisher link
4/16/2020 11:27:56 am

Hi Caren, loved your story and felt empathy for your difficulty confronting a self righteous bully. Since my return from Asia I feel so compelled to protect anyone and everyone I have only been to the store twice; covered from head to foot and head down, no eye contact even - lest my eyes shoot out virus:)
Of course I've been home a month so I think I'm just enjoying the drama!!
The fear non medical people are suffering is pervasive but those who are truly in harms way seem to be uplifting and kind so a round of applause for all of them.
Thank you for starting this blog to give us a chance to communicate and support each other.
More to come?

Reply
Sheila L Finch link
4/18/2020 10:41:58 am

This is a great story, Caren! I'm so sorry you were confronted by a bully but glad for the kind-hearted workers at the store to help erase that horrible experience. During all this drama, I've noticed that humans seem to fall into three categories: Group 1: The ones that simply ignore social distancing whatsoever and do as they damned-well please... Group 2: These folks try to follow the rules established for their area as best as they can... and then there's Group #3: These folks have this wild look in their eyes, a look of fear and panic and inability to cope... This group isn't handling this pandemic very well and are JUST. FREAKING. OUT. Sadly, one of those found you crossing her path.

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  • home
  • blog
  • illustrations
    • the tale of the time dragon's treasure
    • time for change
    • warmth of snow
    • no trump cards
  • jewelry
    • gifts from the sea
    • go big or go home
    • jumping through hoops
    • jurassic sparkle
    • leaves and branches
    • enchanted enamels
  • painting
    • expanding universe
    • enigma series
    • gilding the rothko
    • landscape series
    • masks we wear series
    • namaste series
  • sculpture
    • goddess series
    • political animals
  • store
  • about
  • contact